Friday, March 26, 2010

"DEFINITIONS" : Must Read



"DEFINITIONS"
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Wonderfully described definitions.........
 
 

definition of cigarette

CIGARETTE:
 
A pinch of tobacco 
rolled in paper 
with fire at one end 
and a fool at the other! 




definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:
 
It's an agreement 
wherein 
a man loses his bachelor degree 
and a woman gains her master 




definition of lecture
LECTURE:
 
An art of transmitting Information 
from the notes of the lecturer 
to the notes of students 
without passing through the minds 
of either 



definition of conference
CONFERENCE:
 
The confusion of one man 
multiplied by the 
number present 




definition of compromise
COMPROMISE:
 
The art of dividing 
a cake in such a way that 
everybody believes 
he got the biggest piece 



definition of TEARS
TEARS:
 
The hydraulic force by which 
masculine will power is 
defeated by feminine water-power! 








CONFERENCE ROOM:
 
A place where everybody talks, 
nobody listens 
and everybody disagrees later on 



definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:
 
A feeling when you feel 
you are going to feel 
a feeling 
you have never felt before 



definition of classic
CLASSIC:
 
A book 
which people praise, 
but never read 




definition of smile
SMILE:
 
A curve 
that can set 
a lot of things straight! 




definition of office
OFFICE:
 
A place 
where you can relax 
after your strenuous 
home life 



definition of yawn
YAWN:
 
The only time 
when some married men 
ever get to open 
their mouth 










definition  of experience
EXPERIENCE:
 
The name 
men give 
to their 
Mistakes 








definition  of   diplomat
DIPLOMAT:
 
A person 
who tells you 
to go to hell 
in such a way 
that you actually look forward 
to the trip 








definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:
 
A person 
who while falling 
from EIFFEL TOWER 
says in midway 
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!" 







definition of miser
MISER:
 
A person 
who lives poor 
so that 
he can die RICH! 




definition of father
FATHER:
 
A banker 
provided by 
nature 





definition of boss
BOSS:
 
Someone 
who is early 
when you are late 
and late 
when you are early 



definition of    politician
POLITICIAN:
 
One who 
shakes your hand 
before elections 
and your Confidence 
Later 



definition of doctor
DOCTOR:
 
A person 
who kills 
your ills 
by pills, 
and kills you 
by his bills!
 
 


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