Friday, September 13, 2013

Rajnikanth messages jokes


~~~रजनीकांत स्पेशल ~~~[:P]

रजनी -the सुपरस्टार....
माहित आहे न रजनी काय-काय करू शकतो...
नसेल माहित तर वाचा आणि पहा........
नाव - रजनी ...रजनी कांत ..

हॉबी - हाताने बंदुकीची गोळी पकडणे..सिंहाचे दात तोडून जमा करणे..

रेकॉर्ड - जीराफ्च्या मानेची गाठ बांधली..

Most embarrassing मोमेंट - एका बुक्कीत १०० हत्तींना नाही मारू शकलो..फक्त ९९ मेले.

वेडे पणा - त्सुनामी मध्ये पोहलो ..

achievement - लावा मध्ये स्केटिंग केली.

स्वतःवर गर्व - जेव्हा मला पाहून ४० फूट लांब अजगर पळून गेला.
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U know Y Obama is Coming 2 India?
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*
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...just 2 request Indian Govt dat
"Hmari Puri Miltary, Airforce, Technlogy aap lelo
Bas Hame "RAJNIKANT" dedo..
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Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir's Ghulam.
Rajni runs on railway track,
...

...Train is nw at a distance of 1meter
Now Obvsly,
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.
.
.
.
.
.
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Train jmps off d track!!!
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one day 'rajnikant' woke n decided 2 share his 1% knowledge wid d world...

n thus 'google' was invented..
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best of rajani............... rajanikantne akda alka kubal la hasavale.........
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rajani in his childhood ,tossed some water in the sky ...............& NASAis still wondering how there's water on the moon
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once rajanikant was on the hot seat of KBC ............................... And computer needed a lifeline to choose d question.............
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Rajani went for morning walk. After 1 hour, the police arrested him. Why??
Bcos He reached USA without VISA!!

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Once Rajani bunked a whole day from school..
Since then that day is Known as Sunday..

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Rajinikant got his driving license at the age of 16 seconds

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Rajnikanth can see himself sleeping..

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Rajnikanth once put a bonfire and that place is now known as SAHARA DESERT..!!

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And….
And….
And….
The “Rajnikant” award goes to OSCAR!!!

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-Rajni sentences the judge in the court
- He can declare the third umpire out !
- He can red-card a soccer match referee.

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spelling of rajnikant is "Rajnikant" because there is nothing like Rajni Can't

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Rajni doesn’t find bugs in any code, because ‘Bugs’ come to watch his movie & they’re caught.. J
They have found ‘Bugs’ in Da Vinci code in similar fashion.. J

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Rajnikantcan make his girlfriend admit her mistake!..
Rajnikant can answer THE question “Do I Look Fat in this??...
Rajnikant can answer THE question How much do you love me??

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Rajikant did his KG from 7 different places……….
Those 7 places are the present IITs in INDIA.

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Whenever RAJNIKANT starts rising, the market starts falling!!!!

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Rajini’s favourite SQL query...
SELECT * from ORACLE;

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NASA CLOSED…..
Rajni has bought all the Rockets for Diwali…!!

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Once Rajnikant Donated blood to a very small, sick and thin child.,
Today that child is known as "The Great Khali".

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The pyramids in Egypt are actually ........
.......Rajinikant's primary school crafts project

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My cell phone is full of Rajnikanth messages
And now I don’t need a charger.

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1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

100. you dont google rajnikanth...u rajnikanth google

101. Rajnikanth's email is gmail@rajnikanth.com

102. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.

103. Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!

104. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars Some actors set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks

105. Micheal Jordan to Rajni - I can spin a basketball on my fingers for 2 hrs. Can u? Rajnikanth - How do u think earth spins?

106. Rajnikant.. once wrote his Autobiography - The book is today known as The Guiness Book of World Records!

107. While playing once rajnikanth said "statue" to a girl..now its know as "Statue of Liberty

108. Rajnikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of 'like' he will put 'sooper'

109. Rajnikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7

110. Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired

111. Rajnikant got into a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pant for the rest of his life. ;)

112. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money frm Rajnikanth n refused 2pay him back.. Tat was d last time.After that no one saw Dinosaurs

113. Rajni gives permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..

114. Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award !

115. Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

116. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.... he turns the dark off.

117. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

118. Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention

119. Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE

120. Rajnikanth don’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you

121. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.

122. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

123.Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

124. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.

125. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.

126. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

127.Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don't bother..

128.One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... Thats how the Log table was invented.

129. Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
 

Some facts about Rajnikant from his films:
1. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!
2. In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
4. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
The gun shoot thru wall illustration of Rajnikant
Punjabiportal Facts of Rajnikant
1. Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it’s Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.
2. Everything Punjabiportal has been so far was actually done to publish this article in praises of Rajnikant.
Members can suggest more facts about Rajnikant and punjabiportal.com and submit it in comments. We will add them with your name in this article.
Facts submitted by the readers of this article:
1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!! - by Ketan Raiyani
2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla
3. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !! - by Ankit Shukla
4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”‌ - by Ankit Shukla
5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!! - by Ankit Shukla
6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!‌ - by Ankit Shukla
7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol - by TJ
8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!! - by TJ
9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife. - by Vivek Singhania
10. There in nothing Rajini’Kant do. - by Pras
11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other. – by Sourav Ghosh
12. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one” - by Pras
13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. - by Rajini
14. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh
15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle. - by Abbas
16. Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants. - by Abbas
17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died. - by Abbas
18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him. - by Abbas
19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. - by Abbas
20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas
21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning. - by Abbas
22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. - by Abbas
23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas
24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on. - by Abbas
25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana - by Abbas
26. In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.” - by Abbas
27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. - by Abbas
28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably. - by Abbas
29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas
Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva
30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!! - by siva
Rajnikant Inside Intel Funny Image
31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant” - by siva
32. Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! - by Nikhil
33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third. – by Arpit Rathi
34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend. - by Arpit Rathi
35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi
36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”. - by Arpit Rathi
37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. - by Arpit Rathi
38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.” - by Nikhil
39. When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables! – by Harvinder Singh Gill
40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims. – by Harvinder Singh Gill
41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja. – by Harvinder Singh Gill
42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!! – by Harvinder Singh Gill
43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life. – by Harvinder Singh Gill
44. Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off. – by Harvinder Singh Gill
45. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill
46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil
47. Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS - by Nikhil
48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.. - by Nikhil
49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession - by Nikhil
50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent - by Nikhil
51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed. - by John Cena D-X
52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. - by John Cena D-X
53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse) - by John Cena D-X
54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair. - by John Cena D-X
55. The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′. - by John Cena D-X
56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping. - by Sushil
57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish
58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari. – by Agn
59. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft. - by Harkirat
60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads. - by Pratik Raval
Rajnikant Google
61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives. – by Pratik Raval
62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense. – by Pratik Raval
63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car. – by Pratik Raval
64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language - by Pratik Raval
65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open. - by Pratik Raval
66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did. - by Pratik Raval
67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity - by Pratik Raval
68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same. - by Pratik Raval
69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth. – by Pratik Raval
70. Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth - by Pratik Raval
71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski. - by Pratik Raval
72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth. - by Pratik Raval
73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time. - by Pratik Raval
74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga’s poker face. – by Pratik Raval
75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant” – by Gaurav Sharma
76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8. – by Aaruni Parimal
77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed – by Mrugesh
78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:) - by Neeraj
79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation. - by Sandeep
80. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!! - by ssumanth
81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.. - by Sandeep
82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him. – by Arun Prasad
83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!! - by Sandeep
84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says ‘sssshhhuu’ and kidney starts functioning. - by Sandeep
85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track. - by Sandeep
86. Even gajani remembers rajni. - by Sandeep
87. This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar - by Sandeep
88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :) – -by GGJJ
89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant. - by @nk!t
90. Why Osama isn’t caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn’t interested. - by nihilist
91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth. Porcupines find him even scary. - by nihilist
92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow. - by Sandeep
93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday. – by dollysandhu
94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant’s signature. -by Nikhil_The_One
95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process. - by RupamChowdhury
96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !! - by Manish
97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow???? - by Ali
98. When rajnikanth dies, the grave doesnt read RIP, it reads ‘BRB’ - by Zain
99. World cup 2011 Grouping:
Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND
Group B: RAJNIKANTH. - by Ali
100. Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him. – by Bhanupriya
101. Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras - by Dholak
102. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast. - by Me
103. Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting. - by Me
104. When Pope walks with Rajanikanth, People ask “Who is that guy in robe?” - by Me
105. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood…. - by Aditya
rajnikant pose
The Hollywood Facts of Rajnikant
1. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
2. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.
3. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
4. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
5. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
6. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
7. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
8. 10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enact Rajnikant… THE REAL JAMES BOND.
9. Rocky never challanged the one man who can defeat him… Rajnikant
10. Why do you think there are no superheroes in india…. Simple… no one can invade Rajnikant’s territory.
The real Superman Rajnikant
Rajnikant Vs the Computer World
1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
3. Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
Shahrukh vs Rajnikant
General facts about Rajnikant
1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
3. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
4. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
7. Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
8. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!
10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
13. Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes .
18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
23. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
42. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
45.. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
46. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
Obama Prays to Rajnikant
51. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
55. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
56. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
62. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
63. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
64. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
70. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
71. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
world is not ending in 2012 b'...
world is not ending in 2012 b'coz rajnikant is brought a laptop with 3 years warrenty !!!




One Rajinikanth gone for a wal...
One Rajinikanth gone for a walk and after one hour police arrested him u know why He reached USA and having No Visa with him




why did rajnikanth buy an acre...
why did rajnikanth buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner? Ans: to play carrom!




once ram and were seriously fi...
once ram and were seriously fighting ....... Ravan said :chal bye!!!!! Ram said: kyu dar gaya Ravan said: piche dekh Rajnikant aa raha hai..............




Do you know??whn Rajni was bor...
Do you know??whn Rajni was born ?????????????........On 30 feb & scince then february decidec not to gove this day to anybody else .....




Rajnikant strted using FACEBOO...
Rajnikant strted using FACEBOOK...within 10 sec he got trillions of nOtificatiOns..... One of them was..... Facebook wants 2 b your frnd.....




headline of today ek train cy...
headline of today ek train cycle ki chapat main ayi... train main sawar shabhi log mare gaye.... . . . . . . . nesw: cycle driwer rajnikant farrar




once rajnikanth used tooth pow...
once rajnikanth used tooth powder to make his teeth strong. that powder is now known as AMBUJA CEMENT.




UP me jada kohra (smoke all ar...
UP me jada kohra (smoke all around) hota guess why ?????? , , , , , , kuiki rajinikanth south me baith ke cigarette peta hai .




Osama bin laden used plane to ...
Osama bin laden used plane to demolish the world trade center. Rajnikant would have demolish it with his powerful legs




one day rajnikanth gonna f****...
one day rajnikanth gonna f****d his wife hardly..guess wat happen?? . . . . . . his wife gave Birth to a pregnant girl..




Once Rajnikanth started runnin...
Once Rajnikanth started running from Delhi to Chennai.... guess what the earth started rotating south to north...




Jab rajanikant ne apne ghar me...
Jab rajanikant ne apne ghar me A/c lagaya ,aur apne ghar ka darwaja khola tab. . . . . . .india me winter aya.




Once rajnikanth taught a kid h...
Once rajnikanth taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing the door bell.... . . . . that kid has grown up and is now called sub inspector Daya




once rajnikant n a grl wer pla...
once rajnikant n a grl wer playing cards. rajni lost. . . . . . rajni was having 3 aces the girl was having 3 rajnis




once spiderman,superman,batman...
once spiderman,superman,batman,ironman,shaktiman,krrish,jadu,all visited rajnikant house do u know which day it was ? . . . . . . . . . *guru purnima*

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