"DEFINITIONS" : Must Read

"DEFINITIONS"                 Wonderfully described definitions.........     CIGARETTE:  A pinch of tobacco  rolled in paper  with fire at one end  and a fool at the other!  MARRIAGE:  It's an agreement  wherein  a man loses his bachelor degree  and a woman gains her master  LECTURE:  An art of transmitting Information  from the notes of the lecturer  to the notes of students  without passing through the minds  of either  CONFERENCE:  The confusion of one man  multiplied by the  number present  COMPROMISE:  The art of dividing  a cake in such a way that  everybody believes  he got the biggest piece  TEARS:  The hydraulic force by which  masculine will power is  defeated by feminine water-power!  CONFERENCE ROOM:  A place where everybody talks,  nobody listens  and everybody disagrees later on  ECSTASY:  A feeling when you feel  you are going to feel  a feeling  you have never felt before  CLASSIC:  A book  which people praise,  but never read  SMILE:  A curve  that can set  a lot of things straight!  OFFICE:  A place  where you can relax  after your strenuous  home life  YAWN:  The only time  when some married men  ever get to open  their mouth  EXPERIENCE:  The name  men give  to their  Mistakes  DIPLOMAT:  A person  who tells you  to go to hell  in such a way  that you actually look forward  to the trip  OPTIMIST:  A person  who while falling  from EIFFEL TOWER  says in midway  "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"  MISER:  A person  who lives poor  so that  he can die RICH!  FATHER:  A banker  provided by  nature  BOSS:  Someone  who is early  when you are late  and late  when you are early  POLITICIAN:  One who  shakes your hand  before elections  and your Confidence  Later  DOCTOR:  A person  who kills  your ills  by pills,  and kills you  by his bills!