'My colleague is a malicious gossip'

'My colleague is a malicious gossip'

Part One The Problem Jayshree Ahuja, an HR professional in Calcutta, has been working with her company for over a year now, and is facing problems with her colleague. "My colleague is very good at her job. Having just joined the organisation, I was impressed with her work in the past but was dismayed when I realised that she is a gossip!" says Ahuja. "She uses innuendoes, hints, references, and associations to make people look bad. Every conversation with her leaves me with a bad impression of the person she was talking about." Ahuja is at a loss — should she talk to her boss about it or just leave the matter alone? Part Two The Solution Srikant Motiwala, an HR Conflict Manager with a construction MNC based in Delhi, says that Ahuja has "described someone who suffers from low self-esteem. You can deal with people only in a direct manner," he explains. "If you let her know that you are not interested, she will leave you alone. In addition, when she is talking with you in a vague manner, insist that she clarifies what she is saying to you. There is one other method that can work very effectively, and that is a group discussion about how people feel about gossip or being the subject to this "destructive and non-productive talk." Part Three The Outcome Though Ahuja did not have the benefit of Motiwala's advice, she worked out her own solution which would have had the conflict manager nodding in appreciation. "I couldn't have a confrontation, that's not my style and I was afraid of setting her off." She decided to go with an approach that was closer to Motiwala's second piece of advice: "Every time she tried gossiping, I acted clueless and badgered her endlessly for details! She would get cornered and back off. Now she hesitates to talk to me, and also to gossip amongst others."