Thursday, August 4, 2011

Rajanikant Jokes Collection


1. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2. In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

4. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Make sure to check the funny Rajnikant Funny Advertisements Here
Nokia rajnikant funny add connecting rajni rajnikanth jokesIntel Pentium rajnikant funny add spoof rajnikant jokes rajnikant inside

Punjabiportal Facts of Rajnikant

1. Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it's Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.

2. Everything Punjabiportal has been so far was actually done to publish this article in praises of Rajnikant.

Members can suggest more facts about Rajnikant and punjabiportal.com and submit it in comments. We will add them with your name in this article.

Facts submitted by the readers of this article:

1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!! - by Ketan Raiyani

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla

3. Once Death had 'near Rajnikant experience' !! - by Ankit Shukla

4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims "Oh my Rajnikaant!"‌ - by Ankit Shukla

5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple's Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!! - by Ankit Shukla

6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!‌ - by Ankit Shukla

7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol - by TJ

8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!! - by TJ

9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife. - by Vivek Singhania

10. There in nothing Rajini'Kant do. - by Pras


11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other. – by Sourav Ghosh

12. Neo was "the one" Rajinikant is "the only one" - by Pras

13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. - by Rajini

14. Intel's new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh

15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle. - by Abbas

16. Rajini doesn't need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants. - by Abbas

17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died. - by Abbas

18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him. - by Abbas

19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. - by Abbas

20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas

21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning. - by Abbas

22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. - by Abbas

23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas

24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on. - by Abbas

25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana - by Abbas

26. In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place." - by Abbas

27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. - by Abbas

28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably. - by Abbas

29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas

Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva

30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!! - by siva

31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named "Rajanikant" - by siva

32.Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! - by Nikhil

33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third. – by Arpit Rathi

34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend. - by Arpit Rathi

35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi

36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as "Guiness book of world RECORDS". - by Arpit Rathi

37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. - by Arpit Rathi

38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the "LOG TABLE." - by Nikhil

39.When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she's Miss Pooja. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth's life. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

44. Gandhi's non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

45. India actually didn't have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil

47. Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS - by Nikhil

48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don't even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.. - by Nikhil

49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession - by Nikhil

50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent - by Nikhil

The gun shoot thru wall illustration of Rajnikant

51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed. - by John Cena D-X

52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. - by John Cena D-X

53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse) - by John Cena D-X

54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair. - by John Cena D-X

55. The movie '300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named '1′. - by John Cena D-X

56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping. - by Sushil

57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish

58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari. – by Agn

59. If Rajinikanth's PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft. - by Harkirat

60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads. - by Pratik Raval

61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives. – by Pratik Raval

62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense. – by Pratik Raval

63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car. – by Pratik Raval

64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language - by Pratik Raval

65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open. - by Pratik Raval

66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to 'just do it…' and it did. - by Pratik Raval

67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity - by Pratik Raval

68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same. - by Pratik Raval

69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth. – by Pratik Raval

70. Rajnikanth doesn't have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth - by Pratik Raval

71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski. - by Pratik Raval

72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth. - by Pratik Raval

73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time. - by Pratik Raval

74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face. – by Pratik Raval

75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other "Don't fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant" – by Gaurav Sharma

76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8. – by Aaruni Parimal

77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed – by Mrugesh

78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:) - by Neeraj

79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation. - by Sandeep

80. Rajnikant's daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!! - by ssumanth

81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.. - by Sandeep

82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him. – by Arun Prasad

83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!! - by Sandeep

84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says 'sssshhhuu' and kidney starts functioning. - by Sandeep

85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir's Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track. - by Sandeep

86. Even gajani remembers rajni. - by Sandeep

87. This year's RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar - by Sandeep

88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :) – -by GGJJ

89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant. - by @nk!t

90. Why Osama isn't caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn't interested. - by nihilist

91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth. Porcupines find him even scary. - by nihilist

92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don't even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant's shadow. - by Sandeep

93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday. – by dollysandhu

94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant's signature. -by Nikhil_The_One

95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process. - by RupamChowdhury

96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !!- by Manish

97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow???? - by Ali

98. When rajnikanth dies, the grave doesnt read RIP, it reads 'BRB' - by Zain

99. World cup 2011 Grouping:

Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND

Group B: RAJNIKANTH. - by Ali

100. Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him. – by Bhanupriya

101. Rajnikanth's postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras - by Dholak

102. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast. - by Me

103. Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting. - by Me

104. When Pope walks with Rajanikanth, People ask "Who is that guy in robe?" - by Me

105. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood…. - by Aditya

106. No one is perfect, Rajnikant is no one – by Yukta

107. Rajnikanth, it seems is a verb and not a noun. Its the continuous process happening inside and around us.- by Harsh

108. The Indian Government has requested Rajnikanth to restrict importing Bullet trains from China for using them as cartridges in his pistol - by Harsh

109. Rajnikant is lovin' it! – Macdonald's new tagline - by Harsh

110. Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash - by Harsh

111. Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2 - by Harsh

112. Corporate Slogans as they should be:

Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas

The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.

Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)

I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok

Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia

Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola

Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India

A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India

Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo

High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth

Republic of Rajnikanth - by Dr Sunil

113. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what rajnikanth can do for your country.- by Dr Sunil

114. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love with rajnikanth.- by Dr Sunil

115. One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, "Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok." Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. "Some bloody telemarketing guy"- by Dr Sunil

116. By the time Grahambell invented telephone, he had 2missed calls from Rajnikanth. – by gau

117. Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: ek chutki sindhoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu???
Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 grams - by Akshay B

118. Once a boy went to xerox Rajnikant's photograph. The xerox machined got copied twice… – by Dattaraya

119. When Rajnikant signs in at Facebook, Facebook updates its status. – by kundan

120. Anhoni ko honi karde
honi ko anhoni,
ek jagah jab Jama ho teeno
RAJNI , GAJANI aur DHONI.
Congrets team India for winning the cricket world cup. – by Sandeep

121. Once it was extreamly clowdy in china. then they found out that it was rajni who was smoking from india. -by Rohini

122. Yesterday rajni was shot with a bullet. The next day it was the bullet's funeral. -by Rohini

123. Alfred Nobel recieved the Rajnikant Award! – by RNB

124. Once Rajnikant participated in 100m race, obviously he came 1st. But Einstein died after noticing that Light came 2nd..!! – by chaitanya

125. Rajnikaant's heartbeat is measured in richter scale. – by Yusuf Abdullah


No comments:

Post a Comment


Popular Posts

Total Pageviews

Categories

Blog Archive